musings of an [insert list of glaring character flaws, followed by a poignant descriptor here]

Well, I’m currently back in my element.  Or what I hope is my element: the library.

It is the last day of the fast.  I made it.  Oh, sure, there’s a few hours left where I could cave and have a cheeseburger, but that probably won’t happen.

Probably.

So where do I find myself at the finale of this fast?

Besides the library, wiseguy.

Well, I’m two days into a head cold.  Which means I’m another 5 days from admitting I’m sick.  It’s not the worst cold I’ve ever had, but surprising considering my almost constant diet of Vitamin C, fruits and vegetables.

But, alas, I am one of those sniffling mouth-breathers that I so detest in public, quiet places.  I feel bad for the guy at the desk in front of me–he should’ve brought earphones.

I needed to get out of the house.  Needed to be in a pro-literature setting.

So what you’re reading is me breaking the ice with writing.  I took a long 4 days off from writing.  Sure, I outlined, drafted, sketched, and read, but I didn’t so much as write creatively once.  Bad Mikel.  I did however have some new insights on CoM, so I should be able to get back into the swing of things.

But it’s true what they say:  you need to write everyday.  It’s not about losing the skill as much as it is the hesitation to use it grows with every day you don’t.

But I have to make amends for a couple things.

One: I was a whiny bitch at work yesterday.  I got called in on my day off [the epitome of cliched situations for a starving artist] AND I was sick.  On top of that, Wednesday is my big writing day because the library stays open extra late [everybody knows that, right?!].

Yesterday, it was the end of the world.  Today, it seems pretty minor.  It was only a few hours, I still could’ve made it to the library [if I hadn’t eschewed it for watching Star Wars Episode II:  Attack of the Clones].

That’s right, I’m a monster.

It wasn’t the day server’s fault she got sick [sicker than me, we’ll assume] and it certainly didn’t set me back any more than my cold did.

In fact, it got me a little extra cash, made me look good at work, and I scored today off as a consolation prize.  Which, when coupled with tomorrow’s day off, is almost like a real weekend.

And since I’m free of the fast tomorrow, you know I’m going to be eating something with chicken in it.

Another thing that put me in my place was I saw a wheelchair-bound man trying to read a magazine between ticks and spasms.  Of course, I tried not to stare, but I couldn’t help it.

It really changes your scope to see someone struggling to do simple tasks.  As I sit here sipping green tea, texting on my smartphone, thumbing through my notes on my novel, typing on my netbook, this gentleman is just trying to keep his head still long enough to read a page of a magazine.

Now I know I’m not supposed to pity disabled people–and I can think of at least 5 people that are going to point out politically-incorrect terminology in this post–but I don’t think it was pity I was feeling.  At least not for this man.  It was pity for myself.

It’s a pity I’ve spent the last four days–at least–thinking I had it rough.

Talk about a reality check.  If the universe could parade a less-fortunate individual in front of me everyday, maybe I’d be less of a prick. [read: whiny, emotional baby]

I’m not proud that it took this sight to jumpstart me, far from it.  But I’m glad it happened.  I need to be more thankful for what I have.

This is my greatest struggle:  I’m completely blind to my fortunes.

Speaking of inspirational stuff, I also watched this:

James Arnold Taylor.  Now this guy is truly inspiring.  What a gift!  I’ve heard him on many episodes of The Force-Cast, follow him on Twitter, and–unknowingly–have heard him in plenty of my favorite cartoons.  (Uh, let’s name a few, shall we?  Leo in TMNT, Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Johnny-freaking-Test!)  Such a humble guy with a positive message.  I always envy people like him, people that just exude a positivity.  People with a perpetually optimistic outlook.

Sometimes I fear that I will never become one of these people; that I’m too far gone.  But it can’t hurt to try.  If I become famous, I want to be famous like this guy.

Wow, look at that.  Last day of the fast, and look at all the stuff I learned.

Maybe it wasn’t too late for that epiphany after all.

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